Take Your Tape Measure to a Hotel

Here I am staying in another hotel and yes, I have something to moan about again. Readers might think every hotel I stay at gets a knock but you’re wrong. Most are fine and provide the obligatory bed, shower and toilet that function properly. Get those three right and I’m as happy as Larry. But occasionally, hotel designers try to be clever and make a life for the traveler just a little bit awkward or uncomfortable. It’s not earth-shatteringly important and the world won’t come to a grinding halt because of it but comment needs to be made.

And this time its toilets.
Or, to be more precise, the location of the toilet roll holder in relation to the toilet.
I’ve never thought of myself before as having short arms but a reach of over four foot from my seating position to the toilet roll is more than a bit of a stretch. In fact, it’s impossible.
When you first inspect a room after you’ve found it you tend to make sure everything is there. You know bed, toilet, shower, bath, carpet on the floor, no cockroaches having frivolous sex in the tub and making sure that the door is locked into the adjacent room where the kids are practicing vocal gymnastics. You don’t to grab a tape measure and assess the distance from the toilet to where the toilet rolls are kept. No longer will I avoid this action when I check into a room.

A gap of four feet or more means having to stretch but you can’t stretch that far. So you lean over, but there is only so far you can lean before you topple. After all, where can you put your other arm to support yourself? Unless you’re a contortionist. So there you are, considering your fate. Which is what the bathroom designer should have been doing in the first place. Not my fate but that of everybody who is placed in the position (to coin a phrase) of being unable to reach the toilet roll because the designer didn’t think his wonderful design through properly.

After the first time, the problem is solved. You remove the roll and place it on top of the cistern so all you have to do is an ungainly swivel to reach it. But I shouldn’t have to do that. It makes you wonder sometimes whether hotel bathroom designers are human. Maybe they are octopuses and, with eight long arms, don’t have any problems. But that is for another time.