Smotherers and Hotel Desperados Wanted
Along with Underpackers, Cheap-O-Sauruses, Signalers, Touristpedias and Valentiners you are invited to enter the latest Air France competition where the main prize is a trip for you and 3 friends to anywhere in the world. But can you enter if you aren’t one of these groups? No. Air France has decided that we all fit into one of these seven. And for a trip to anywhere on their network I’d be prepared to put myself in a box so I think I am a Touristpedia.
Here, from their competition page, are all the groups. Where do you fit?
The possibility of having a love connection on vacation exactly like a romantic comedy is 100% and he/she knows it. The Valentiner is willing to abandon friends and months of planning should the opportunity for love in any shape or form arise. Usually found chatting up the person in the next aisle.
In any destination city, there are places to go and things to do and he/she is overly-scheduled and knows exactly what you’re going to be doing from “7:15am: Meet in hotel lobby” to “12am and onwards: Party time/Free time”. It’s a competition to get the most things done each day without so much as a bathroom break, and they’re always the winner.
The Hotel Desperado
Pilfering all things from hotels like a mini-pirate plundering all things miniature, he/she hoards without shame. While downright embarrassing at times staging coordinated raids on maids’ housekeeping carts, should you suddenly require 14 shoe shine kits or a couple of Bibles, you’ll be thankful you brought them.
Checking voicemail, searching for an Internet cafe and complaining about lack of international 3G coverage are high on his/her list of travel activities. Each hour is religiously documented and shared with every single friend via cell phone picture and frequent status updates.
Travelling can be expensive, but he/she travels on a budget fit for 10-year-old’s on a paper-round. Getting by on a daily diet of crackers, or whatever friends haven’t finished eating, this is the friend that “accidentally” leaves his/her wallet in the hotel or will disappear when its his/her turn to buy the next round
Security, safety, and the buddy system are his/her top concern on vacation. When he/she is not talking about the local crime rate or hiding foreign currency on their body, he/she is keeping friends from enjoying nightlife and the company of (gasp) foreigners.
He or she prides himself or herself on being low maintenance, so it’s only natural that their week’s worth of necessities can fit into one single bag. Time on vacation is generally spent scouring foreign streets for affordable underwear and toothpaste.
I can see people I know in different groups. I know Underpacking Signalers and Smotherers who are Cheap-O-Sauruses. The groups are there just for a laugh, but like so many things there is more than a grain of truth in all of them.